Saturday, July 25, 2009

How to Write Online Dating Profiles: 12 Quick Tips

Writing the online dating profile is one of the most important steps to successful online matchmaking. It can also be the most intimidating. Here are twelve quick tips to help you write a profile that gets noticed.

1. Writing a good online dating profile utilizes many of the same skills as writing in general. To avoid becoming intimidated by the process, write like you speak. Pretend you are writing to your best friend. Then simply begin writing as quickly as you can, without taking the time to read anything over or cross anything out. Once you have filled a page or two, go back and see what kinds of sentences and phrases you would like to keep and then do the same process again. This is a great way to help your personality shine through your words.

2. Be honest about yourself and the type of situation you are looking for. Instead of thinking about what the other person may be looking for, think about the kinds of traits you bring to the table. Be sincere, open, and honest while keeping your best face forward.

3. Let people know your intentions right away. Are you looking for a soulmate, a friend, or just a little spice?

4. Studies show that a profile will receive a better response (sometimes by 3 to 10 times) if you include a photo, so make sure not to skip this step.

5. Check to see if the online dating service has published guidelines or tips for their specific profile arrangement. For example, some experts say that an ideal profile has 250 words, with 150 words about yourself and another 100 words depicting the kind of person you are seeking. Of course, these guidelines are going to vary by the service you have selected.

6. Talk about your social life, your family, and your pets. Do you have a close relationship with your extended family? If you do, make sure to mention it. Let people know what is most important to you. What do you value most in your life?

7. Be as positive as possible. The online dating profile is not a place for negativity. If something you wish to mention is not positive, try looking for the positive aspects of the situation and emphasize those.

8. Use more nouns and stories than generic adjectives. Instead of telling about yourself through long narratives, demonstrate the traits via details and stories. For example, instead of saying that you are witty, include witty anecdotes in your profile. Likewise, your profile should not read like a resume. Strive for a casual tone, and mix in plenty of facts and specifics.

9. People are intrigued by details. What are your favorite songs? What is your favorite form of art? What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night when you are all by yourself? What is your favorite thing to do on a date?

10. When you are describing what you are looking for in a partner, make sure not to limit yourself unnecessarily. You may have an exact vision of what this person looks like and does for a living, but any specific traits you mention may limit the potential of your profile.

11. Before you submit your profile, read it out loud. This is a simple way to catch any grammar errors. Then use spell check. Finally, paste all of your profile data into a text only file so you can efficiently copy and paste the profile into various communities or forums.

12. Keep records. Start a log (either a computer file or a paper journal) and make note of the people that you have met and enjoyed visiting with during your online dating experience. This can help you remember to update your profile when necessary, as well.

Online Dating - 10 Rules Everyone Should Know

Online dating is an exciting frontier, filled with possibilities around every corner - but before you begin returning those enticing emails, there are 10 rules you should abide by.

Your love life may be stalled for a number of reasons. A recently ended relationship might leave you stranded with a condensed social circle and feelings of loneliness. You might have experienced a recent change, like a divorce, graduating from college, or moving to a new city. No matter what the circumstance, it is hard to meet new people. Enter the world of online dating - full of variety, spice, and excitement. If you're new to the online dating scene, there are several things that everyone should know.

1. Plan ahead

Are you looking to just spend some time entertaining yourself in chat rooms? Looking for someone to hang out with on the weekends? Seeking a one night stand? Trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right? Determine your goals for online dating and stick to them - otherwise you might hurt the feelings of others or find yourself scraping up the pieces of another failed relationship.

2. Ask your friends

Online dating and chat rooms are standard tools for people of all walks of life looking for love or a little fun. Ask your friends what sites have worked for them in the past. Trust the opinions of those you already know rather than choosing a service at random.

3. Start slow

You may need to spend some time in chat rooms, email correspondence, or even via the telephone before you feel comfortable enough to meet someone. Take your time - there is no rush! Enjoy the process and embrace the excitement.

4. Tell the truth!

If you really want to experience success with online dating, you must be honest. While you cannot control the actions of others, maintaining accountability to yourself will thwart the temptation to attach someone else's picture to your profile or lie about your past.

5. Organize and prioritize

Online dating can be overwhelming. It's a lot easier to browse profiles of individuals that you know are looking for a relationship than to strike up a conversation with someone at the bar. Choose a few of the most interesting profiles, take notes, and limit yourself to corresponding with them at first. You can always look again if they don't work out, and this will avoid too much activity and confusing emotions.

6. Don't believe everything you see or read

If he or she sounds too good to be true, it's very possible that you're looking at a bad egg. Take your time getting to know someone. Check their story. If you have arrived to the point where personal information has been revealed, there are ways you can verify details. If a person claims they work at the local community college, you can check the phone directory for their name. Public record is a valuable resource!

7. Chat room etiquette

That old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" still applies to online dating. Chat rooms often give people a sense of invincibility. When the fingers start flying, things tend to move fast and have the potential to get steamy. Stop. Think. If you wouldn't say it to a complete stranger face-to-face, don't say it at all.

8. Paying for an online dating service might not be so bad

Websites that charge for entering chat rooms or making an online dating profile may turn you off at first glance. You might feel embarrassed or afraid to shell out hard earned money to a dating website; however, you can rest assured that if someone is willing to make the investment it costs to participate in online dating circles, it's possible that they are very serious and willing to go the extra mile for you!

9. Be available

Don't have access to the internet everyday? This might cause problems in the online dating world. Those who try this method of socialization like to think they'll receive quick responses. Be available, consider setting aside a specific time to spend in the chat room, and respond to emails in a timely fashion. Otherwise, you might find your potentials losing interest.

10. Safety first, second, and third

When you've gathered your confidence and found somebody you want to meet face-to-face, remember that you don't know what to expect. Meet in a public place. Drive your own car so that you can maintain control of your environment, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Even if the first date leads to a second, or third, keep in mind that you've only just met, and there is no need to rush.